"Why are you talking to yourself?"
"I'm doing a run at conversational pace but I'm not running with anyone else"
"Oh, I see."
"What run are you...sorry we.....going to be doing?"
"8 miles on the trail, past Bolton Abbey and on to the Strid"
"Are you sure? It'll be busy; holiday time and the sun's shining"
"Be worse, Saturday or Sunday"
"How far have we done?"
"A mile. How are you feeling?"
"Not too bad but Wednesday's track session is still in the legs"
"What did you do?"
"Usual simple rep session. Nothing complicated. 8 x 1000"
"What the interval recovery?"
"Minute and a half"
"How did it go?"
"Rubbish, to be honest. Legs were still suffering after Sunday's 12 miler"
"But you could have predicted that, surely?"
"Yeah, but I was delivering into Nelson so I just carried on to the track as usual"
"So you could describe the session as a perfunctory one?
"I could, if I knew what the word meant. Does it mean slow but got less slow as it went on?"
"No it means done as a matter of routine, I think. Still, 8000 metres of effort, can't be bad."
"Suppose not. I actually did another, making 9"
"Why was that?"
"Well, I had been given a pair of shoes to try out by a fashion footwear brand and thought I would see how they felt over 1000 metres"
" I have been selling running shoes since 1975 and can honestly say they are the most unusual shoes I have ever worn!"
"Why was that, then?"
"When you first put them on you feel as if you have a big lump under your arch. The idea is that you are forced to run on your forefoot. Actually works when running fast but the initial feel is so different I don't think they will sell"
"What make are they?"
"Can't say.....but I could do a sketch?
"Yeah, get it!"
"Yeah, I'm thinking of trying a new line for the business. An idea from America."
"I thought we'd seen all new running ideas. Was is it then?
"Running wedding dresses!"
"How do you mean?"
"Custom made white wedding dresses which you can run your race in properly, even achieve a P.B. and then get married in at the finish line."
"You mean with technical wicking fabrics used and made especially for the bride?"
"Yeah. You know what they say; what the Americans do, we copy"
"How much do they cost over there?"
"From 1760 dollars!!"
"Must be very technical fabric!"
"2 miles in 20 minutes. All these stiles are slowing us down"
"Not exactly Mo Farah pace is it"
"Oh I don't know. Did you see that 5K he ran at the weekend"
"Yeah, he jogged 14.00 to win the UK trial"
"Not that one. The one he ran the day before in over 23 minutes."
"No he ran the Bushy Parkrun with his wife, Tania"
"Good for him. I should run with my wife Pat more"
"Cavendish tea rooms are busy"
"Yeah, loads of cyclists taking a break"
"You never see runners stopping for tea and cake on a run, do you?"
"Perhaps that's where we 're going wrong"
"There's a mountain biker ahead"
"Thought they didn't allow biking on the Strid?"
"I think he knows that. That's why he's not pedalling"
"Or perhaps he hasn't worked out that pedalling helps him to move forward"
"You going to make a sarcastic remark to him, aren't you?"
"Moi, would I do that"
"Yes, you always do.......knew you would!"
"Speed up a bit....he's started to pedal ....and catching us up!"
"Nice picture of Kelly Sotherton with no clothes on!
"Other than that!
"Interesting result from the UK trials with the womens 10K"
" There were only 5 entries and only 4 finishers. One Ethiopian, 2 Japanese and Soina Samuels from my club Sale. So Sonia became UK champion with only her in it"
"Doesn't say much for Uk endurance director, does it!"
"This bit's quite hilly, isn't it?
"Yeah. I think I'm having a turn"
"How do you mean?"
"I 'm seeing double. 2 women coming towards me with red hair, black tops and white jeans"
"They're identical twins, you nutter!"
"Thank God for that!"
"What are you doing this afternoon?"
"Probably do my blog"
"Does anyone ever read it?"
"To be hoped so. It's taken me ages to type everything I've said in red!"
"Do you ever get any comments?"
"No, because it's b****y difficult to do!